Secrets of Self Mastery - #2 My Laughing Buddha In My Belly

Secret #2 - My Laughing Buddha

I have a Buddha in my belly. Yes, I know what you are thinking - you thought I was vegetarian.

No, but really, one of the most successful personal mastery techniques I have created for myself is to lend my belly to a chunky, squinty-eyed, smiley Buddha. I put him there when I realized that sometimes I have no control of my mind - or at least that is how it occurs to me. I wander into deep dark rabbit holes and participate in conversations of self doubt, judgement and doom and am left all alone with my out of control mind. 

It seemed like sometimes, I could get myself out of it rather quickly, sometimes I needed to talk to one of my coaches and then there were those rare moments where it seemed like I was drowning in quicksand and my thoughts echoed on loud speaker. Here is where my laughing Buddha comes in. 

My Buddha in my belly hoots and howls when my thoughts spiral out of control. He is trained to do that. I stop and ask him why he is laughing and he says something like "oh Michelle sweet girl why are you thinking such negative thoughts? You know that is not who you are. You have created a reality that is stressful and negative. You have the power to have anything you want in your life. You are so silly. Silly girl. Silly, silly girl." He then continues laughing and laughing almost to the point of tears. He sees how ridiculous I am being because he knows who I really am. 

I begin to snicker with my Buddha and realize he is right. How did I get so far off my course or so far detached from who I really am? It is then that I can see useful actions to take and empowered ways of being I can create. 

I love my laughing Buddha in my belly - it is the most successful self-mastery technique I have generated for myself. 

I encourage you to create your own character - your partner - your own personal coach between your two ears or like mine, in your belly. 

Secrets of Self Mastery - #1: I Am Ugly

Secret #1 - I Am Ugly

I am ugly. We are all ugly. We are actually wired to be ugly. We are wired for survival and instinctively, for most of us, defensiveness, ego and upset can often be our first reaction to life. This can look ugly. If ego and identity isn't at the source of our first reaction to life, bravo to us, but we will still experience our humanity from time to time. Some of us deal with our humanity more than others. 

I was recently a guest speaker in my friend's Mind Class at UNC. The topic was self mastery. Since leaving that classroom, and participating in that dialogue, I have been toying with the thought of what it means to actually have self mastery. When will I know that I have achieved this? 

After grappling with the quandary for a few days, I started laughing at myself for being in my head about it. I decided to get on the court and take action and actually look to see where I have achieved self mastery and how I achieve self mastery. 

What I noticed is that one thing that helps me the most is to think of my mind as a billion different muscles that all need to be exercised or even "re-programmed". It is when I think of myself in this way that I find I have compassion for myself and my own humanity and are free to take useful action. 

Here is one of my mind exercises:

Person says something that irritates or offends me, I immediately spew out an automatic ugly defensive monologue that makes no difference and causes an upset. I realize 1-2 days later that I was the one who created the ugliness in the situation and realize I have been suffering about it for days. I then take 2-5 days to get up the courage to be in communication with that person to clean up the mess. (please note sometimes this timeline is actually over YEARS not simply days)

My first goal is to shorten this period of suffering, from 1-2 days to 1-2 hours then 20-30 minutes. 

The second goal is to get to the point where I can catch myself during my ugliness and clean it up in the moment. I actually do this a lot with Jeremy. After making a judgmental comment about someone or something, I realize I was in a state of ego and immediately take something back and create a new way to be about it. 

The third goal is to be able to catch myself before I say anything. LOVE this one, but I am still not completely free. My mind is still quick to judge and assess, I have just avoided an upset with the other person, but I am still quick to be ugly. 

The last and ultimate goal is to be in the other persons world so completely that I disappear and I can hear what the other person is really saying and dealing with and actually make a difference for them. I am not offended or irritated by anything they say or do. I am completely free. 

So my secret is out - I too am ugly from time to time and it is okay. It is when I have the ability to laugh at myself, take useful action and learn from my humanity that my beauty shines through and I am beautiful. 

Up next, I will share with you about another mind exercise that I have created, the laughing Buddha in my belly. I promise it will make you laugh. 

Gina Lichte

Woman of the Week

World, meet Gina! As you can see, Gina has one of the best smiles on the planet and she has a laugh to go with it! I know Gina first through Bikram yoga class, and second, through a women's coaching group we were in together. She is full of life, love and joy. She is truly one of the most positive and beautiful people I know. 

1. What do you do for a living?

If you were to look at my job description, it would say organize and coordinate New Student Orientation at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, but I feel like what I do is so much more! I collaborate with campus partners to promote our university. I listen and encourage students to live their fullest lives. I advocate for higher education equity. I try to make an impact on my world!

2. What is your purpose in life?

My purpose is to be an engaged passenger of my life journey, to be open to possibilities, and to explore creativity, innovation, and change.

3. If you had the attention of every woman on the planet, what would you say to us?

Listen up ladies….you are more than what you think you are! Dream BIG! Always do what you are afraid to do!

4. What is your super power?

Infectious joy!

5. If you could interview any woman alive today, who would it be and why?

Easy….Michelle Obama. I am completely inspired by this woman in so many ways. First and foremost, her love for family. She is SO BUSY but still devotes her time to family. I find that incredible! Secondly, her mission for helping. I love her passion for how she wants to make the world better and the action she takes to make that happen! Finally (for the sake of time, I give three thoughts), her style! I want to go shopping with her!

6. What did you want to be when you were 5 years old?

I remember saying out loud at age 5, I wanted to be a babysitter just because my mom took me to a babysitter and I liked seeing all the toys. I am easily influenced by my environment.

Dixie Daly

Woman of the Week - The Echo Project

Dixie is magic. She is about connection and making everyones dreams a reality. Dixie and I met at a small entrepreneurial event I spoke at where she was full of ideas and support. She is a master at networking, product development and is playing big in life. Pink is her trademark color and happy is her trademark way of being. I am tickled to know her!

What do you do for a living?                                       
Leaving a dream as Founder and CEO of Tickled Pink Boutique. My energy is filled with being an Entrepreneur, Inventor, Product Developer, Author and the voice for women's entrepreneurial network.

What is your purpose in life?                                           
When I received an award for International Business Match-Maker, I realized it was a gift from God, to let me know my purpose on this earth was connecting one another and supporting human kindness and caring for others, by giving back with my time and my energy. Also, to be innovative in leadership by inspiring, educating and supporting women on the best ways to pursue their dreams.  I realize, there's nothing like starting from scratch, marking milestones and seeing a vision materialize. When I fill my heart and soul, I feel compelled to enjoy life.

If you had the attention of every woman on the planet, what would you say to us?                                
Open your heart, make every day special, live from within and let your soul guide you! Go for your Dreams and know that you have to get uncomfortable to grow. The only one stopping you is you. Treasure ever moment with your family! And… Live the square of life: God, Love, Commitment and Communication.

What is your super power?
My Super Power is to make everyone feel important, cared for and loved; because they are! My super-duper power is living in the now and to allow God to be in control.
 

If you could interview any woman alive today, who would it be and why?                                                                 
Oh, Oprah, of course!  Life is an experience and life has a lesson; Oprah has showed the world what life is to be, when you give and receive, and how to make a difference in someone’s life. One day, my dream will come true, my dream to hang out with Oprah!



What did you want to be when you were 5 years old? 
When I was 5 years old, I wanted to be a Stewardess to meet new friends, explore and fly around the world.  I liked the uniforms they wore back then, traveling seemed so fun and exciting as a little girl.