"However
you are or aren't is perfect," Keely begins, "I ask my students,
where do they go when it is hard? I remind them that whatever they are dealing
with in life, will show up in yoga."
Warrior 1 has always been a difficult posture for me. Even
more so than triangle, or standing bow pulling. I don't know why this is. It is
a powerful, strong and intentional posture, one that you would think would I
love. I flash back to my Warrior 1 as Keely talks, thinking about what my own
struggle about this posture says about what I am dealing with in my life.
"I quit teaching a while back," she continues,
"because I thought someone else was better than me. I actually convinced
myself that I couldn't teach. I had it that you were either born a yogi or
not. I constantly compared myself to other teachers."
Keely is an awesome yoga instructor. She creates community and
oneness in her class, which I find unique. Hers is the first class I have ever
taken where we did partner yoga. I have to admit, my heart sank a little when
she informed us we would be doing this in class. Here I was, in the middle of
the business district in Salt Lake City, standing in the Department of Environmental
Quality building, a strange place in and of itself to be Zen, in a room full of
strangers asked to share an intimate posture with my neighbor.
I took a deep breath. Would she pair me with the stocky guy in
the glasses to my right? I had a brief panic attack thinking about our bodies
smashed together in any sort of downward facing dog or crouching tiger. (Is
that even a yoga pose?) I know, so third grade of me, but my humanity was at
play. You can't help but feel a little vulnerable in yoga, completely exposed.
It is as if everyone can see you, all of you. It would be one thing to do
partner yoga with Jeremy, that would be kind of fun, but a stranger? Yikes! I
settled down when my inner voice reminded me that we were all here to partake
in a peaceful, meditative experience. We, as a class, made an agreement simply
by passing through the doorway that we would love, honor and cherish each other
for the entire 65 minutes. What the hell I thought, when in Utah...
"So, what is your purpose in life?" I asked
Keely after the class over an iced tea and Smart Water.
"To love, to teach and to lead - to create connectedness.
To get people in relationship together."
"Like the partner yoga?" I asked, "You
certainly created connectedness there."
"Exactly!" she beamed.
Next question.
"If you had the attention of every woman on the planet,
and we all spoke the same language, what would you say to us?"
She didn't even hesitate. "I would tell you all just
how much I love you. I would remind you to be present to love and connection.
What I want available for you is to know how loved and precious you are. Inside
of love you could do anything."
Wow. I was blown away. How eloquent she sounded, like she had
practiced that before. I am clear Keely knows who she is. It occurred in her
sharing that her purpose in life was a conviction rather than just a bright
trendy idea. I smiled.
Yoga has been great for Keely. It kind of saved her from
herself you could say. She used to be a bully and desire power over others.
When I asked her where this came from, she shared that her mind is trapped with
a re-occurring question of "do you approve of me?" It is what she and
I refer to as an unanswerable question, something you will spend your life
trying to prove or answer for yourself. She used to look for ways to prove to
her self and to others that she was worth something and sometimes it came at
the cost of others self-esteem.
Yoga was a great place for Keely to feel free and discover
herself. It wasn't yoga alone though, Keely has, over the years, done a series
of personal development courses, one-on-one work with coaches and had other
life experiences that have opened up this space for her to be her true self and
love unconditionally. I admire her and the work she has done. You can tell she
is free by being around her.
Back to the yoga room. I know you are all interested in how
the partner yoga ended up for me. Keely paired me with a young woman to my
left, though I had talked myself into being open to whatever experience the
Universe had in store for me. Keely began to direct the posture. My body slowly
formed a backbend over my partner’s front bend. Hold one...two...three, breathe
...four...five...six, breathe...
My mind raced as I battled to relax. My inner dialogue went
something like this: "Don't mess this up. Don't put too much weight on
her. Am I leaning too much? Is this awkward for her? Am I doing this right? How
long have we been in this posture? Should I just start coming out so I don't
squish her? Has she done this before?" My neighbors laughing interrupted
my thoughts. I couldn't help but smile. I thought about how we all handle
intimacy differently. When faced with truly being with another human, looking
at each other in the eye or back bending over one another, sharing an intimate
moment, we are faced with what we ourselves are dealing with. It is a pure
reflection of who we are and the space we are currently in.
...seven...eight...nine...ten... breathe, hold...breathe,
hold...release and reverse.
We ended the posture; I smiled and thanked my beautiful
partner.
I acknowledged Keely after class for sharing her incredible
talent as a teacher and for who she is in the world. My heart is filled with
love when I see her. She hopes to one day open her own yoga studio in Salt Lake
City and I know she will.
Now to share with you how I know Keely. I coached her in a
communication course. She is the one who introduced me to Carol Masheter, the
oldest woman to summit the highest peak on each of the 7 continents, the reason
I traveled 454 miles to the other side of my Rocky Mountains, the woman I came
to interview. Her story is yet to come.
But next, you will hear about another woman you will fall in
love with. As if you had a choice.
 |
| Keely and her husband in a partner yoga class. |
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