As I begin to share who Bree is for me and for the world I pause. I am moved to my very core. She holds a true piece of my heart.
It is rare that you encounter someone like her in your lifetime and it is even more rare to form a close friendship with that person. I will give you a cosmetic background before I share her soul.
Bree is an interior designer, a mother of three 5 lb puppies, a fitness competitor, a world traveler and my favorite, a Canadian. I love the way she says mum, sorry and outside. Her home is painted with color, fabric and art - her wardrobe simple, elegant and filled with muted tones. To paint the complete picture, her eyes fall right in line with mine at 5'2" and her jet black hair is in complete contrast with her fair skin.
What is interesting about our interactions is that we have the same thought patterns, habits and mannerisms. We are continually finishing each others sentences and the phrase "that's how I am too!" is echoed too often to count.
Bree picked me up from the airport and my grumbling stomach landed us at Whole Foods. This is where I had my next impromptu interview. Bree is training for a fitness competition, specifically a bikini competition, something that is seemingly out of character for her as she is usually a private person, modest in nature.
We both grabbed our veggie filled salads from the bar and plopped ourselves down amongst the other health-conscience, kale-lovin locals.
I started to ask her the proverbial "how are you, what is new" questions that I have become auto-programmed to spew out when I first encounter someone I haven't seen in more than 3 days. Our conversation gravitated toward her fitness competition which is consuming her world right now. She shared some of the highs and lows of it - not having enough energy - but being in the best shape of her life - waking up at 1:00 a.m. in the morning in tears because she is so hungry - but being thrilled to discover all the people eager to contribute to her success and stand by her side. She is at the gym about 4 hours per day and has her food measured, weighed and prepped out a week in advance. She is a living, breathing machine.
I have to admit, my ego and identity was fascinated with what she was taking on. Secretly envious of the discipline she had developed around her eating and how slim and fit she had become. I was quickly snapped back to reality when her tone softened as she started to share the emotional side of her journey, the one that is often overlooked but I could easily relate to.
One of the hardest parts of this experience is the constant judgement from others. She was getting it from all angles. The people flashing her confusing looks as she practices her swimsuit walk in the gym, the friends she shares her breakdowns with that advise her to "just eat a few potato chips!" or even worse, the stories she makes up in her own dangerous head about what everyone else says and thinks about her. If the roles were reversed, she would judge the same she admits.
"Bree," I interrupted "it doesn't matter what others think initially - it is who you are BEING about it that they will respond to. Do you know that your story is actually inspiring and not dis-empowering? Especially when you open your mouth and share what is really behind your decision to do this competition."
"Yes I know," she smiled, "but sometimes I feel like the only people to vent to and share with are other people in my fitness community. They are the only ones that get it - all of it."
My inner core screamed so loud I think I almost shouted my response, in my next monologue - "Bree THAT is why you have to share your story with others! You HAVE to tell people, WOMEN ESPECIALLY about your journey so we are all left empowered and not dis-empowered by your experience. Every person you DON'T share with is another person that may make up a story about you like "oh she is just blessed with great genes" or "she is so vain, she only cares about what she looks like" - these people won't have the chance to get to the bottom of what it is THEY are dealing with in their own internal state. By sharing your story, you actually contribute to them and FORWARD their dreams. Stop being afraid of sharing what this journey is really about for you. You have the opportunity to shift something here."
What is great and unique about Bree is she knows all of her judgments and internal dialogues are actually made up conversations in her head. A fictitious story that her ego has fabricated to survive. This is one of the things that makes her so electric to talk to - we can take negative thought patterns and turn them into powerful action items in a matter of minutes. That is exactly what happened. We spent the rest of the time in an empowering context about what she was up to and brainstormed ways she could use her experience to share and contribute rather than to hide from her own greatness.
It would have been easy for my identity/ego to indulge in small comments or jokes about her eating, exercise routine or other things related to her training during my visit - and while I probably let a few slip out - I made a conscience effort to instead, learn from what she was doing, encourage her in her efforts and to not bring attention to what she was already dealing with in her own head.
As I finish this narrative, I realize I have more to share about Bree including the story of how she got replaced in her own sister's wedding by a dog. It is after I heard this story that I was clear her life will make a great screenplay or HBO series so I will in fact share more of Bree with you in later blogs and have now changed this to Part 1.
What I would like to leave you with is that I am at my best when I am around Bree. I wouldn't change a thing about her and thank her for being so open and candid with me and allowing me to share a piece of her with the world. More to come...
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